I realized today that perhaps I am happy. I can’t describe it well enough; but its a light headed feeling, a feeling of being alive, a feeling that you’ll be feeling like this even in the next moment.

I can’t recollect feeling like this in a long time. Maybe when I was much younger and too innocent to differentiate between unhappiness and happiness, pursuit of which defines adult lives.

I can’t believe how much good taking a semester off has done for me. Right now, I’m doing something that I chose to do. Something that wasn’t enforced on me by societal pressure or by lack of other opportunities. I chose to do this.

And this feeling of happiness is not rooted in a victory over competitors or in the act of rebellion of dropping a semester or in the feeling that life’s perfect. Thankfully not.

I think the day that I realized all the following, I finally started doing things that I really really want to.
1. I have very limited needs. I can live on minimum money.
2. I’m not applying for higher education for the next 5-6 years.
3. My parents are super cool.

Realizing all that took all the pressure off my back. Phew!

So when last semester in Pilani, I was unhappy with everything that was going on with me, taking a semester off to explore just seemed right. And by explore I didn’t intend to travel around, meet new people, and live a bohemian life. I’m pretty sure I want to run world changing businesses. What I needed was a direction to move forward in, not a plan, but a direction.

Renewable energy  was something that had been giving me quite a few sleepless nights ever since I spoke to Alexis from Indian Youth Climate Network and Devin, my summer internship boss and dear friend. So I decided to take the semester off to work in an organization that would give me a panaromic view of the entire renewable energy sector in India. New Energy Finance seemed like a perfect fit and it sure is!

So right now I’m doing what I love. Getting paid enough to live well. And there’s no pressure. Finally.

Yes, I am happy.

I hope all of you can feel this, at least once.

2 Responses to “Happy.”

  1. March 18, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I was feeling like that, till I got confused again (as work got serious :D)

  2. 2 Raghav
    March 20, 2009 at 12:35 pm


    Dots appearing to getting connected ha?

    It was a very brave decision for sure… Great to hear that you are living it up!

    Probably there aren’t much feelings as serene and beautiful as that of pure HappYness…

    And ya.. one more thing.. i read somewhere that the deepest of feelings cannot be expressed in words.. probably thats why the not describing it well enough funda

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